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Brain Scanning

June 8, 2007

Today was not quite so good as yesterday – but I’ll gladly take it over the other days I had this week. One issue that came up today, and it’s come up a lot lately, is trying to judge whether or not an angry reaction is justified or not … for me, I’ve learned to wait a day or two and see if I’m still outraged by something. The problem with this is that it means I either risk reacting too quickly to something that I realize was nothing only a few days afterward – or I swallow my reactions down until it’s basically too late to react at all.

Anyway, I stumbled across this article today, from Psych Central News, about how new neuroimaging techniques may be used not only to pin down the underlying cause for bipolar disorder (and other psychiatric disorders); but also as a diagnostic tool, so doctors could more effectively screen for these disorders before the full onslaught of symptoms present themselves.  I see this as being something worth developing, although I can also see where something like this might open up a can of worms.

First, the good news is that if this technology might help to pin down the underlying causes of bipolar disorder, it might just help researchers move toward a cure. I understand something like that would be a long way away; but it could also lead to more effective treatments of symptoms along the way. I think it’s also good that such scans could be used in an almost proactive way, identifying the disorder in someone before the disorder has enough time to waste, ruin or end someone’s life. The other thing I’m keeping in mind is along the lines of the concluding remarks in a John McManamy article, titled “Brain Scans:”

“The next time you encounter a skeptic who tells you your illness is all in your head, you may want to download and print brain scans and keep them handy for future encounters. At the very least, these images eloquently portray in a way that words cannot that our illness is demonstrably real.” 

Such scans could help to combat the stigma surrounding bipolar disorder; but, in the wrong environment, such scans could also alienate people who are not yet experiencing symptoms. We live in an age now where credit checks are done for job candidates, or for people who wish to adopt a child – what if brain scans were also to become a legitimate part of the selection process? Psychological evaluations already exist, brain scans could take such evaluations to much higher levels, and preclude gifted and talented people from participating in jobs and activities, rather than include, before a single symptom were ever experienced.

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Aftermath, p. 2

June 7, 2007

Wow … I think I actually had a good day. I didn’t do much of anything – stayed locked down indoors due to the outrageous pollen fog outside, and kept the blinds drawn all day to try to keep the temperature cool (we don’t have a lot of a/c units up here). No rage surges, no deep wells of depression – got good news from a few different directions. There were a few points in the day where I might have felt a little guilty about how well my day was going … but the guilt actually passed. I’m not really sure I know what to say, especially coming off a day like yesterday, except, wow.

The best way to describe it would be thusly …

My brain yesterday:
Titanic Inevitability

My brain today:
Fuzzy Mirth

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Shocker

June 7, 2007

After reading this article, from Psych Central News, questioning whether or not ECT should be implemented more often as a primary treatment (rather than last-ditch effort), I’m going to do a lot more looking into ECT (electroconvulsive therapy, or shock therapy). I’ve read in a few other places that ECT can work for stubborn depressions, and also for bipolar depressions (which I’m now starting to understand are a reason for why my depressive episodes have lasted so long and been otherwise immune to treatment). If that’s the case, if I could actually have relief from the depression (aka dark pits of fetid hell my mind sometimes falls into), I’d seriously consider it. The article also points out that the memory loss sometimes associated with ECT is only temporary: this has actually been a reason why I’ve avoided the issue of ECT, because I feel like I’ve already lost enough memories. The only problem I can see is that ECT sometimes requires up to a dozen treatments to get a good response, with ‘maintenance’ treatments afterward – it’s not designed to cure, but to bring depression into remission – which means I could be temporarily losing memories pretty often. Of course, if it’s memories of previous sessions that I’d be losing, I’d be in good shape :-)  I’m also curious as to whether or not the manic side of bipolar disorder responds to ECT.

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Aftermath

June 7, 2007

Well how this day has ridden the tail of yesterday has already been interesting for me. While yesterday morning seemed to go pretty well, the rest of the day sort of spiraled on me. I wound up missing my bedtime by a few hours. Well, the aftermath results for me are that I actually got up earlier today than I have since starting the bedtime routine (I was averaging wake-up times around 09:30, after going to bed at 22:30) – after going to bed at around 01:30 this morning, I got up at 06:00! I can also say that, while my head’s feeling really fuzzy at the moment, I slept better for those few hours this morning than I’ve slept all week. This reminds me of when I used to burn myself out in the past so I could sleep … basically go a couple days without sleep so when I would finally drop, I’d drop hard and actually sleep. The only difference is that I don’t feel quite as refreshed today as I ordinarily would. So far, my mood’s held – with luck, it’ll hold for the rest of the day :-)

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Honored

June 7, 2007

BOTW Badge I’m honored to have been awarded Weird Cake’s “Blog of the Week” – thank you, K., for your vote of confidence and your compliments to this blog – and thank you for being this blog’s first (and thus far only) commenter!

I’ll take this as a sign that this blog is heading in the right direction :-)

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Elemental Explanation

June 6, 2007

In the comments section to my post about the list of Do’s and Don’ts, I mentioned that I think a blogger’s link list is a way to get to know the blogger. At the very least, it should let someone know where the blogger’s perspectives are – in part – coming from. I think other elements of blogs exist for similar purposes, and I thought this might be a good opportunity to explain some of the elements in this blog :-) Read the rest of this entry »

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Crash

June 6, 2007

It’s now after 23:38. For those who have been reading along this past week, you’ll know that this means it’s already an hour after my new ‘bedtime’. Today’s been a pretty tough one for me. It started out well enough – I’d overslept again, but once I got up I was feeling light-hearted and at times, outright festive. As the day progressed, I started having periods where dark thoughts would creep into my mind, and also had bouts where I felt combative toward people around me, inanimate objects that just wouldn’t bow to my will, and just about everything else there for a while. Basically, my mind kept bouncing from a dark well of despair, to a roaring surge of rage, with occasional overlap – I’m not going to call it ‘bad’ since I was able to keep myself <mostly> in check – but I have noticed that this is getting worse for me, harder for me to keep in check, and it’s costing me a lot more to keep the genie in the bottle. I’m supposed to see my psychiatrist in a week, and I’m actually hoping he’ll up my dosage.

For right now, I may suspend my bedtime routine – talk it over with my doctor, although I can’t fathom why a set bedtime would affect my moods in a bad way – at the very least, since it’s already late, I’m going to play hooky tonight :-)

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Metaphysics

June 6, 2007

People who know me also know that I have a great love for going deep with my thoughts, and not surfacing for air for a few days at a time. I don’t know whether this is something I tend to do more often in the up-swings or down-swings of bipolar life, or perhaps it’s just one of the few things I enjoy doing at any phase in my life. I love to contemplate theoretical physics, metaphysics, logic, and the universe, wrapping my mind around the infinite, finite, and divine. I’m not a scientist – I never had the discipline to see an education through, beyond a two-year degree in computer technology – but I tell myself that, in my universe, not being a scientist is not a precluding limitation to pondering physics. After all, I’m not a god, and I ponder religion often enough :-)

With all of this considered, you might imagine that I was more than just delighted to stumble across this gem of a post from Bipolar Guy – dealing with topics of finite divisibility, co-existing universes and divine ratios – I was obligated to comment :-) This will, of course, profoundly affect how I look at things for the next days or weeks … it will probably mean that I drive my wife up the wall with my four hundred twenty-seventh rendition of how the universe we now live in is not the first, nor will it be the last, that we live in a recycled universe; along with my two hundred fifty-seventh rendition of how the classic cosmology of the Norse is a poetic description of different universes co-existing at different natural frequencies. While my poor wife won’t be thanking Bipolar Guy for this, I certainly will :-)

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Lithium’s Function

June 5, 2007

I recently read an article that attempts to describe how lithium works in the treatment or management of bipolar disorder. The article, titled, “How Lithium Helps Bipolar,” can be found on Psych Central News. The article details a study on bipolar brains, made possible by use of new MRI technologies and techniques, that reveals lithium seems to help patients grow more grey matter in regions of the brain associated with emotional regulation. I think this is very interesting, and reading this makes me happy that I gave lithium a second try.

One question I have, though, that the article didn’t answer: what about bipolar people for whom lithium doesn’t work? Does this mean lithium only grows more grey matter in select people; or does it mean that having more grey matter in these specific regions of the brain may not be all that’s necessary for the kind of emotional regulation associated with healthy people?

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Do’s and Don’ts

June 5, 2007

If you haven’t read the list of do’s and don’ts for family and friends of bipolar folks at Bipolar Disorder Center, please take this opportunity to do so :-)  I think this list is pretty appropriate, and I would like to know if there are other ones out there, perhaps put together by people who are themselves bipolar – or was this list perhaps put together with bipolar involvement? As it is, I think this list is good enough that I’m going to add it to my growing list of resources on my sidebar.