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New Addictions

June 12, 2007

My apologies for not having posted in here since last week. I discovered something that’s been around for a while but, like so many other things that people take for granted, I didn’t figure out the marvelous potentials for until just recently: YouTube. Yep, I was able to see music videos I haven’t seen in years (and even a few I’d simply never seen before, having been deprived of Mtv when I was a kid). I was able to catch sneak peeks at a new Kevin Smith film (Kevin Smith, aka Silent Bob to those who don’t bother with things like credits, is one of the top five people in the world I’d like to spend half a day hanging out with – the man’s a cynical genius in my opinion, and a dedicated Star Wars fan!). I got turned on to searching out other videos, mostly fan fiction for Star Wars (I hadn’t looked for anything along these lines since the days when Troops first came out) …

Then, over the weekend and leading into the beginning of this week, my motivation pretty much fizzled and I was having problems with swinging moods. When I did have the desire to get in and write a few words, I figured the desire wouldn’t last as long as it would take for me to boot up my computer; so I figured why bother? But all of that’s behind me now (or in front of me, depending on how you like to see it), and I’m sitting here online, aware, and dangerous once again (muahahaha).

I had a visit with my psychiatrist today, blood was taken to see about the possibility of increasing my Li2CO3 (lithi-yum-yum), and I’m still at a point where I’m hoping this will happen. In looking at my MoodTracker results so far for this month, I’m sort of all over the place – the only consistency is that I’m managing to take my medication every day. I’m still at the sub-introduction dosage of 450mg, once per day – where I’ve been for the past month – and I’d like to get bumped to a level where the lithium can actually do something. I’ll find out on Monday, once the blood results are back. Maybe then I’ll also find out about whether or not my psychiatrist will recommend a therapist for me, or if I’m going to have to hunt around for one on my own. I start to wonder about the wisdom in letting someone, freshly diagnosed and scrambled, run loose for several months on negligible doses of medication and non-existent therapy (we’ve sat down and talked together three times since the end of February – all three times combined amount to less than 45 minutes). I start to wonder about this, then I wonder what it would have been like for me had I still been in America, with no insurance and just enough money to keep me reporting back to work – I’m a lot better off here :-)

*Totters off to find what other sources of mischief and mayhem the Internet offers today, with My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult’s “Confessions of a Knife” playing in the background …. 

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3 comments

  1. Thrill Kill Kult!!! I love them! Hehehe…great minds think alike, eh? ;-) ANyway, great to see you back online, though sometimes it IS good to take a break (I’ve done so myself, though lately I’ve been an absolulte fiend about posting anything and nothing at all…I get that way when I am hypomanic). :-)

    See ya a bit more later; I’m working at home today and have to get back at it!


  2. TKK is the only band so far to put out an album where I listen to it all the way through, without skipping a single song – and Confessions is the only album put out by TKK that I’ll listen to this way … in fact, when I listen to it, I usually have the thing set on repeat. I think the beats are simply addictive :-)


  3. I’ve just been staying at home doing nothing, but pfft. Today was a total loss, but oh well. I’ve pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.



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